More secrets with notyouranswer

[chloesullivan]

Chloe has been avoiding calls, emails and text messages all the. The small article on the Planet and the front page of the Smallville Ledger about the mysterious death of the paramedic had a couple of her fellow reporters connecting dots and since gossip tends to spread quickly in the newsroom, they had been trying to contact her, she suspects it's less about condolences and more about articles, and to be honest, she doesn't want either.

And that is one of the reasons that Chloe, for the first time since she started working at the Planet, called in sick today. She didn't want to deal with anyone, she didn't want to have to lie and feel the guilt every time someone says they are sorry about what happened. The one person she feels she could really talk to, who she has been thinking about calling since Clark left for work, is Lana.

Lana has been as tangled in this alien war thing before and Chloe knows she is the one most likely to understand. Not that Clark doesn't, but she knows if she talks too much about how she really feels, he will only blame himself, because he can't help it and he wants to fix things. Lana, however, Chloe thinks Lana can just listen.

Which is why Chloe was glad to hear from her and glad to accept her offer. She checks the clock on her computer and nods a little to herself, Lana should be there soon.

Comments

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

To say that Lana's worried is an understatement. Chloe's been on her mind since news broke of Davis Bloome's death. Article after article, news segments and phone calls have poured in and she doesn't know exactly what to do. Lana doesn't know what she can do except be there for Chloe as Chloe has been there for her.

She buys two tall lattes and some scones before going over to Chloe's, then mentally chastises herself for being so lame. As if Chloe needs coffee and scones right now. But maybe all she needs is a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen, and Lana's certain she can do that.

She knocks on the door, chewing her bottom lip as she waits to be received.

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Chloe doesn't have to guess who that is, Clark would have just opened the door, she rubs her face as she gets up slowly and makes her way to the door. She feels awful for dragging Lana into this with all that she is already dealing with, but she is glad Lana could make it.

She opens the door and forces a small smile, stepping aside for Lana to come in.

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

Lana steps in cautiously, offering her a small smile back. She knows Chloe's smile is forced because it's also pained, and she feels a slight pang in her chest.

"Hi," she says quietly, biting her tongue to keep from asking how Chloe is. It's the last thing anyone wants to hear along with I'm sorry. It changes nothing.

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Chloe turns to close the door, locking it and taking another deep breath before turning to face Lana. She motions towards the living room.

"Thank you for coming." She says quietly. There isn't much to say and Chloe wants to give Lana some time before she starts telling the truth, if she can tell the truth.

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

Lana nods, walking towards the living room and stopping halfway there. She turns around to hug Chloe gently.

"How could I not?" she asks quietly, stepping away as her hands find her friend's, giving them a light squeeze.

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Chloe returns the hug briefly and nods again at Lana. She doesn't know what really happened so Chloe lets Lana be comforting. She appreciates it, she especially appreciates the company. Davis had been spending a lot of time there in the past couple of weeks and it was impossible not to think of him.

She let go of Lana's hands after a second and nodded again. "It's been a weird day."

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

"I can imagine."

Lana notices the distance and allows it. Chloe's given her space in the past when she's needed it. Lana will give her space now. She sits down on the couch, offering her one of the styrofoam cups. "Have you eaten anything?"

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," Chloe takes it but sets it on the coffee table as she sits down too, "Clark spent the night, he made sure I ate." She tries for a weak smile. She hasn't been hungry, her stomach has been upset since, well, since she realized what she had done.

She takes a moment before turning to look at Lana, "I'm guessing you read the paper?"

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

Lana doesn't offer her a scone, not when she set aside the coffee. She can imagine Chloe isn't hungry and won't push for that. "I'm glad he did." And she is.

Lana's tearful smile is wobbly. "Yes, I did read the paper. I am so sorry, Chloe."

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

She sighs deeply, it's a lot harder to think about it, to admit it now that Lana is here. What is even harder is to come up with the words, to form the sentences she wants to say, to figure out how to start.

With a shake of her head, Chloe turns back to face Lana, "That's not what happened."

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

Lana should be surprised, but she isn't. When is anything as it seems in Smallville? Especially surrounding Clark and their circle of friends?

She inhales sharply, before nodding her head once more. "Okay." She remains calm and levelheaded. "What did happen? Can you talk about it?"

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Chloe leans back into the couch and shrugs slightly, she probably can't, not that she thinks Clark would mind but she can hear Oliver saying something about involving more people. But Lana is involved enough and this is over, Chloe wouldn't involve her if she could be in danger because of it.

She rubs her face before looking back at Lana, "He was Kryptonian." Better to start with that than with any of the other facts in that story.

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

"He was..." She doesn't finish that sentence. Part of her starts piecing it together but she thinks she needs to hear it anyway and maybe Chloe needs to say it.

Lana leans forward, holding her own cup of coffee with both hands. She isn't drinking from it either. "Did he hurt you?"

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

There is a frown on Chloe's face for a second before she shakes her head, she never even considered that... Davis hurting her just doesn't sound like a possibility, even... now, with all she knows, when she thinks about him, he's just Davis.

"No, he was always-" She pauses and shakes her head again, she doesn't want to go there just yet, "He came to Earth when Clark did he was just a kid, but he was sent here to- kill Clark."

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

The wind is knocked out of her. Lana holds a hand to her belly, slightly bulged now. She never stops worrying about Clark. She doesn't think she ever will.

She focuses her concern on Chloe, however. She doesn't like the look in her eyes. "He didn't die in a car explosion, did he?"

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Chloe watches Lana for a moment, she knows Lana cares about Clark as much as she does, and she's glad the 'problem' is solved before Lana has to deal with it. There is another shake of her head, "I killed him."

Her stomach turns as she says the words out loud for the first time. She has been thinking them, but saying them makes it much more real.

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

The silence is resounding for a few minutes, or maybe they are just seconds, Lana can't be sure. But there is silence and only the sharp breath Lana draws shatters the soundless moments.

"Chloe," she breathes, because she finds herself without words. What can you say to that? She knows Chloe, knows the only way this could have happened is if there was no other way. "I..." Silence again. Deafening.

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

"He asked me to." This is the worst part, but now she feels like she needs to keep going, keep giving Lana the facts to make it less personal, as if they are talking about just another meteor freak and not... Davis.

"He couldn't control himself. There is no telling how many people he murdered. Rapists, robbers, drug lords, all the mysterious murders, the dismembered and barely recognizable bodies found around Metropolis in the past few months. They were all him." And she didn't see it, didn't notice any of it.

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

"You couldn't have known. Don't let the guilt eat you up," is the first thing she says, and she'll probably chastise herself later but it's what she means. He killed. And Clark was going to be next if something wasn't done. In Chloe's place, Lana would've done exactly the same thing, no hesitation.

But they are not the same person.

Her hand reaches out hesitantly and rests on top of Chloe's. "I'm here, Chloe. Tell me what I can do."

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

"Thank you, Lana." She doesn't regret protecting Clark, she would do anything to make sure he is safe.

Her jaw is set when she turns to look at Lana, "I wouldn't change what I did." Even if she couldn't stop seeing Davis' pained face as the Kryptonite washed over him.

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

"I would have done the same thing," Lana tells her seriously. She sees the determination set on Chloe's face, and knows that'll help her deal with this.

"Are you sure you don't want something to eat?"

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Chloe appreciates that, she knew Lana would understand, understand that Clark's life comes first.

"I'm sure, my stomach has been upset. Thank you, though." She stops there and crosses her legs over the couch, laying her hands on her lap.

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

"You don't need to thank me."

Lana hates the useless feeling sinking in her chest. "Would you like to get some rest? I'd stay, maybe help with cleaning up the place, making dinner just in case you're hungry later."

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

"No, Lana, it's okay." She turns her head to look back at Lana, just a hint of a smile on her face and shakes her head slightly, silent for a second.

"Things will never be normal for us, huh?" It's something that has been in the back of her brain since she found out about Davis, she knows it came out of nowhere, but she knows Lana has had as many, if not more, bad experiences as she has.

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

"No, I don't think they ever will," she admits quietly. Lana long ago accepted it. For some reason, and she doesn't know if it's the town, where they come from, the people they've met along the way, or simply a design of fate, but normal isn't in the cards for them.

"I don't think normal means better, though."

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Most of the time, Chloe enjoys being a part of this bigger picture, of knowing all she knows and helping Clark and Oliver and the others help people, save them. But when it comes to her relationships she was hoping this one would be different than the others.

"Normally I'd agree with you."

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

"You'll get through this, Chloe."

If there's anything she's sure of, it's that. She's always secretly envied her strength. Lana isn't sure of her own these days. "You have Clark, and you have me."

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

"I know, thank you Lana." And she does, they've been through a lot before, a lot worse. Meteor showers, aliens trying to take over the Earth and even death.

The only problem is that this time, it feels much more personal for her. She cared about Davis much more than she had cared about anyone else, since, well, Clark.

[notyouranswer.livejournal.com]

"You're welcome." She doesn't think there are any words left to say, so she doesn't say anything. She remains quiet, though by her side, and thinks back to everything they've already been through.

When would life ever slow down for them?