Waiting with dl_greenarrow

[chloesullivan]

She took a deep breath as she opened the bathroom door, stepping outside and holding her hands together nervously and walking over to the living room.

In a few minutes, they would know if their life was going to change, she had been anxious for this day for a whole month now, just the thought that was a possibility... she tried to keep herself from hoping too much, but sometimes, she couldn't help it.

"Now we wait." She said quietly as she looked up at Oliver, who looked as anxious as she felt.

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[dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com]

He squeezed her hand back tightly, his heart thudding heavily in his chest. He wasn't sure which he was more scared of: if she was pregnant or if she wasn't. Two years ago, having a child with anyone would have freaked him out more than just about anything, But now, the thought was almost calming.

Because it was with her. And they'd literally gone through hell together and survived.

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Chloe glanced over at Oliver once more before picking up the pregnancy test from the sink, her heart beating fast in her chest as she did, her eyes widening for a moment as she squeezed his hand hard before relaxing it, blinking a couple of times, she shook her head slowly, "it's... negative." She whispered.

[dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com]

Negative.

He swallowed hard, rendered speechless for a long moment. "Oh," he finally murmured, nodding a little. He stared blankly at the test in her hand. He supposed he should be relieved, because if she had been pregnant, they would have had to stopped patrolling together.

But somehow, the image in his dreams of a little blonde girl running around the Watchtower as they watched her, smiling, didn't vanish. His gut tightened as he realized how badly he'd wanted that for them. A family of their own. Considering both of their childhoods--hers with her mom having left her at such an early age--and his with both of his parents dying--it would have been nice to have that now.

He rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes downcast.

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

After a second, she reached let go of his hand and reached for the box, she had to make sure she had read it right. Going over the instructions once more told her she had and she looked at the test one more time before trashing it.

She knew this was a possibility, and she knew she should be relieved that they could continue to help Metropolis but somehow, relief was the the last thing she felt, she had been so sure that she was pregnant, that they were going to have a baby together and that things would be different after she took the test, but it had all been just hope.

[dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com]

He lifted a hand and rested it lightly on her shoulder. "You okay?" he whispered. He had to whisper because his voice was too thick to speak normally.

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Without lifting her head, she nodded, turning and wrapping her arms around him and hiding her face against his chest, "I guess it just wasn't supposed to happen this time." She murmured against his shirt.

[dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com]

He wound his arms around her instantly, pulling her close. "I guess not," he whispered, kissing the top of her head before he rested his chin there. He rubbed her back lightly.

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

She held on to him, rubbing a hand over his back too, "I was hoping..." she said quietly, closing her eyes, they hadn't talked about what ifs much after that first day, or what they were hoping would happen, she felt like they were both working as hard as they could, as if they weren't going to be doing that anymore, but neither one ever said anything and now she could tell he was as disappointed as she was.

How could you feel like you lost something you never had to begin with?

[dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com]

"Me too," he whispered, tightening his hold on her a little. He shut his eyes, exhaling slowly. "I've been dreaming about it," he admitted almost inaudibly. "It's weird. It's not something I ever really considered before a few weeks ago but now..."

He swallowed hard, pulling away enough to look at her. "I wanted it too, Chloe." His eyes were sad as he brushed a kiss against her forehead.

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Chloe lifted her head to look at him, her eyes blurry with tears but a small smile on her lips at his admission, "I've never considered it before this but now that is was a possibility..." she took a deep breath, "you... had dreams about it?"

[dl-greenarrow.livejournal.com]

He lifted his hand and gently brushed a tear off her cheek, his own eyes blurry. Nodding slightly, his voice cracked a little when he spoke. "I dreamt we had a little girl. She looked like a tiny version of you. Beautiful. Big green eyes and curly blonde hair." He smiled faintly, his stomach tightening.

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Chloe bit down on her bottom lip and smiled, a couple more tears running down her cheek, she chuckled quietly and took a deep breath, her stomach tight too, "I wish I could see her."