chloesullivan | Waiting with dl

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Waiting with dl_greenarrow

She took a deep breath as she opened the bathroom door, stepping outside and holding her hands together nervously and walking over to the living room.

In a few minutes, they would know if their life was going to change, she had been anxious for this day for a whole month now, just the thought that was a possibility... she tried to keep herself from hoping too much, but sometimes, she couldn't help it.

"Now we wait." She said quietly as she looked up at Oliver, who looked as anxious as she felt.

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Oliver nodded slightly and held his hand out to her. He drew in a breath and let it out slowly as he gently tugged her down to sit with him. They'd been careful every time they'd made love since that first time, just in case she wasn't pregnant. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, winding his arms around her, his hands folded over her stomach.

With another deep breath, she leaned into him, hugging his arms as she laid her head on his shoulder. She felt too restless to sit down, but she wanted to be close to him.

He threaded her fingers through his own and pressed a soft kiss to her temple. Drawing in a breath, he thought over what he was about to say one more time. "Chloe?"

She squeezed his hands in hers a little and nodded as she lifted her head, turning to look at him, "yeah?"

"I've been thinking." His voice was quiet, but steady. Thinking was probably an understatement, actually. What he'd been doing was obsessing. Every night when he fell asleep in her arms or her in his, he dreamt about the two of them. Together. Raising a child, and making the streets of Metropolis safe.

"Let's get married," he whispered.

Her eyes widened at his words and she stiffened in his arms, she would have lied if she pretended she hadn't thought about that in the past month. Although she loved Oliver and they had been living together for a year and half now, she wasn't anywhere near ready to actually get married, not with how it turned out last time, but she knew that if she was pregnant, it would be the smart thing to do, not because she thought Oliver would go anywhere, but because if something happened to one of them, the other wouldn't have problems accessing everything they needed to raise their child.

She held his hands in hers as tightly as she could, "we don't even know if I am yet..." She said quietly.

"I know." He paused and carefully turned her so they were facing each other. "But this isn't just about whether or not we're having a baby, Chloe." His voice was soft as he gazed at her. "I love you." He offered her a small smile. "I have for a long time. And you're the only person in the world that I could imagine spending the rest of my life with." He lifted his hands to her arms and rubbed them gently.

"If you think about it, we're practically married already. It would just be formal. And if--and I'm not saying it will--but if something were to happen to me, I want to make sure you're the one who gets everything from my estate." The thought of something happening to him and her being left with nothing, being alone and fighting the bad guys like she had been before she'd found him that night so many months ago, didn't sit well with him. And while he'd already updated his will just in case, he wanted it airtight. If they got married, that would solidify that.

And the thought of the two of them being permanently connected, forever, was something he'd made peace with long ago.

The thought of losing him immediately made her stomach turn and she turned a little more towards him, wrapping her arms around him as tightly as she could.

If she lost him, she didn't think she was going to be able to recover from it, she knew that the only reason she had last time was because of him.

With a deep breath, she nodded, they only had each other and she was glad that they did, they needed and they loved each other, and if she was ever going to have a family with anyone, she knew it would only be with him.

"Okay." There was a soft nod and a small smile, "you're right, it's just a formality."

Oliver smiled, lifting a hand to her cheek and kissing her softly. His fingers slid up and into her golden hair, pulling her a little closer. "We'll do it however you want. Big wedding, small wedding, or justice of the peace. We could even elope in Vegas. Doesn't matter how," he murmured, leaning his forehead against hers.

She kissed him back and took a deep breath, nodding and watching his face, "something with just the two of us." She said quietly. There was no point in doing anything else, most of the people they knew were gone and she didn't want a wedding.

He nodded slightly. "Just the two of us," he agreed quietly, rubbing her cheek lightly with his thumb.

She looked at him for a moment, a soft smile on her lips and nodded, hugging him tightly for a second then reaching for his hand to look at his watch, her stomach knotting with anticipation again when she saw the time.

"We can go look." Her voice was quiet but nervous when she spoke.

He threaded his fingers through hers, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Went by faster than they claim on TV," he teased lightly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Then he rose to his feet, gently pulling her up along with him. "Whatever it is, we'll be all right." He believed that much.

With a nod, she squeezed his hand back, "I know," she gave him a soft smile and kissed him softly before walking with him to the bathroom, taking a deep breath when she stopped by the door and holding on to his hand tightly before walking inside.

He squeezed her hand back tightly, his heart thudding heavily in his chest. He wasn't sure which he was more scared of: if she was pregnant or if she wasn't. Two years ago, having a child with anyone would have freaked him out more than just about anything, But now, the thought was almost calming.

Because it was with her. And they'd literally gone through hell together and survived.

Edited 2009-10-23 21:57 (UTC)

Chloe glanced over at Oliver once more before picking up the pregnancy test from the sink, her heart beating fast in her chest as she did, her eyes widening for a moment as she squeezed his hand hard before relaxing it, blinking a couple of times, she shook her head slowly, "it's... negative." She whispered.

Negative.

He swallowed hard, rendered speechless for a long moment. "Oh," he finally murmured, nodding a little. He stared blankly at the test in her hand. He supposed he should be relieved, because if she had been pregnant, they would have had to stopped patrolling together.

But somehow, the image in his dreams of a little blonde girl running around the Watchtower as they watched her, smiling, didn't vanish. His gut tightened as he realized how badly he'd wanted that for them. A family of their own. Considering both of their childhoods--hers with her mom having left her at such an early age--and his with both of his parents dying--it would have been nice to have that now.

He rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes downcast.

After a second, she reached let go of his hand and reached for the box, she had to make sure she had read it right. Going over the instructions once more told her she had and she looked at the test one more time before trashing it.

She knew this was a possibility, and she knew she should be relieved that they could continue to help Metropolis but somehow, relief was the the last thing she felt, she had been so sure that she was pregnant, that they were going to have a baby together and that things would be different after she took the test, but it had all been just hope.

Edited 2009-10-23 22:36 (UTC)

He lifted a hand and rested it lightly on her shoulder. "You okay?" he whispered. He had to whisper because his voice was too thick to speak normally.

Without lifting her head, she nodded, turning and wrapping her arms around him and hiding her face against his chest, "I guess it just wasn't supposed to happen this time." She murmured against his shirt.

He wound his arms around her instantly, pulling her close. "I guess not," he whispered, kissing the top of her head before he rested his chin there. He rubbed her back lightly.

She held on to him, rubbing a hand over his back too, "I was hoping..." she said quietly, closing her eyes, they hadn't talked about what ifs much after that first day, or what they were hoping would happen, she felt like they were both working as hard as they could, as if they weren't going to be doing that anymore, but neither one ever said anything and now she could tell he was as disappointed as she was.

How could you feel like you lost something you never had to begin with?

"Me too," he whispered, tightening his hold on her a little. He shut his eyes, exhaling slowly. "I've been dreaming about it," he admitted almost inaudibly. "It's weird. It's not something I ever really considered before a few weeks ago but now..."

He swallowed hard, pulling away enough to look at her. "I wanted it too, Chloe." His eyes were sad as he brushed a kiss against her forehead.

Chloe lifted her head to look at him, her eyes blurry with tears but a small smile on her lips at his admission, "I've never considered it before this but now that is was a possibility..." she took a deep breath, "you... had dreams about it?"

He lifted his hand and gently brushed a tear off her cheek, his own eyes blurry. Nodding slightly, his voice cracked a little when he spoke. "I dreamt we had a little girl. She looked like a tiny version of you. Beautiful. Big green eyes and curly blonde hair." He smiled faintly, his stomach tightening.

Chloe bit down on her bottom lip and smiled, a couple more tears running down her cheek, she chuckled quietly and took a deep breath, her stomach tight too, "I wish I could see her."

"Maybe you still will," he said softly, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her very softly. "Just not as soon as we thought." He kissed her forehead again, closing his eyes. "Can you imagine though? She'd look just like you and be as much of a trouble-maker as I am." He smiled, chuckling faintly. "She'd be a heartbreaker for sure."

Closing her eyes, she nodded, chuckling a little and hugging him tightly again, "like I'm the only trouble-maker between the two of us." She opened her eyes and smiled up at him.

"You're right. She'd be double-trouble," he teased, hugging her back just as tightly and gazing down at her, his eyes filled with warmth.

She paused for a moment and nodded, taking a deep breath and lifting a hand to cup his face, "and you're right, just because it didn't happen this time, it doesn't mean it won't happen."

He leaned into her touch for a moment, then turned his head and pressed a kiss to her palm. "We could actually try at some point," he said softly.

With another nod, she raised her eyebrows a little, "I want to," Chloe paused for a moment and shook her head, a soft smile on her lips, "I never thought about it before, I never wanted kids before, but... it feels... like it would work out, like we would be okay."

He kissed her forehead softly. "We would be. We'd be great parents." His voice was quiet. "Because we make a great team."

"We do make a great team..." She watched him and leaned closer, kissing him softly, "and we will make great parents someday."

He cupped her cheek and kissed her back softly, believing that. "Yeah. We will."

She moved her hand into his hair and pat it slowly, "I guess... we should gear up, then?"

"Let's get to work," he agreed, kissing her once more, softly.

So they weren't going to have a baby anytime soon. They were still together, still a team.

That's what mattered.

She kissed him back and reached down for his hand, squeezing it tightly then pulling him out of the bathroom and towards the stairs where they kept everything.

Things would still change one day, they could still have a family and the life she had been dreaming of for the past month, it would take a while longer, but the fact that they both knew that was what they wanted now already made things different and better

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Waiting with dl_greenarrow

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