Doomsday with alwaysherhero

[chloesullivan]

Chloe is typing furiously, radar and satellite images flashing in the screen in front of her as she tries to find something, anything that tells her that maybe Clark made it out of it, that he made it through his battle against Doomsday alive.

After Jimmy's funeral, she came back to the place she had already been calling the Watchtower, the place Jimmy had gotten her, the place that would allow her to look over Metropolis and help protect it. But Metropolis doesn't stand a chance without it's savior, she and the others can't fight Doomsday without him, if Clark is-- No. She can't think about it, she needs to focus.

Focus on finding Clark, focus on making sure he's okay, focus on making sure Jimmy's death wasn't in vain. Just focus.

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[chloeas.livejournal.com]

He doesn't understand, he doesn't get it. She wants to tell him he is wrong, tell him he isn't listening to her, that he doesn't know what happened. But his words and his eyes make her stop.

Chloe watches him in silence for a long time, his kind words to her almost going unnoticed, she doesn't feel like she deserves them right now. But Clark called her human, referred to humanity as if he wasn't a part of it.

She's searching his eyes for a moment, her chest tight, "What are you talking about?" she asks almost in a whisper.

[alwaysherhero.livejournal.com]

He turns, swallowing hard. He can't look at her. Especially not while he's saying this.

"Chloe... the man you knew... he's gone. Clark Kent is dead." He looks down at the smeared stain of blood on the hard floor. "He died with James Olsen, because when he died... it hurt you. An innocent man died, and you... you got hurt in the process. Both of those things... I made them happen." He finally looks back at her. "I'd rather have died than let you get hurt, Chloe." His voice is shaking, his emotion on full display, even if he doesn't want it to be. "You're the one person in this entire world who... you're the only human in this entire world that even deserves..." He can't even find the right words, it seems. But he continues to try. "Out of every human on this planet, you're the only one who means anything to me now. You're the only one who even deserves it... and I... caused this. I caused this all to happen, and I... you're suffering now, because of me."

He sniffles, unable to fight his tears any longer. "Don't you see, Chloe? You're... you're better off without me. I've ruined your entire life. You'd be so much happier if you'd never even met me."

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

Chloe is still, watching him without blinking, the tears streaming down her face again, she is trying to to hold on to denial, to pretend Clark never said those words, but she can't.

"What are you saying?" her shoulders are hunched, her chest is so tight, it hurts, "what are you saying, Clark?" she repeats. Chloe wants to walk towards him, touch him, but she can't move.

"I need you, Clark. I have already lost too much, I can't- I can't lose you too."

[alwaysherhero.livejournal.com]

He swallows hard, fighting himself every second. He wants nothing more than to take her into his arms, and kiss her tears away, but he can't do that. He knows what's for the best, or, at least, what he thinks is for the best.

"I'm saying... Clark Kent is gone, Chloe. All that exists now... is Kal-El. And maybe it's time for me, Kal-El, the last survivor of Krypton, to fulfill my destiny." He tries to hide his emotions now, as he says the words that are making his heart ache. "And that... is something I have to do alone, Chloe."

[chloeas.livejournal.com]

It hurts, it hurts her physically. All of his words, the combination of them, the meaning. She feels her heart tight in her chest as she looks him in the eyes and watches as he tries to mask everything she knows he's feeling.

She can't think, her brain can't take this too, not on top of everything else she has been trying to block out all day, "No." her voice is firm, she has no idea how she managed it, "No, Clark. You can't do this. You can't..." she can't finish her sentence, she can't say the words because that would cause her to have to deal with them and with what they mean, and she can't right now. Instead, she just shakes her head and stares at him.

[alwaysherhero.livejournal.com]

He's still trying to fight himself, to hide himself. And what more, he's trying to disconnect himself, his emotions. It's hard to do.

But he knows this is for the best. There's no need in lingering around, making it hurt any more for both of them. He doesn't want to hurt her anymore. He has to leave... maybe right now, even.

"I can... And I will." He forces the words out, even though he hates himself for it.

He moves closer, gently taking her face into his hands. He stares down at her for a long moment, swallowing hard again, and then lowers his lips to her forehead. A single soft, sweet kiss. His final goodbye, not at all dissimilar to the one he gave her when he asked Jor-El to take away her memories of him.

"Always remember that I..." he starts, then trails off. He shakes his head. No. He can't say that. He can't tell her that he loves her.

Instead, he clears his throat, and takes a step back, his eyes on hers again, his sorrow mirroring hers.

She can never know. He tells himself. She's better off without me in her life to ruin things.